"tumblr"

2010-03-04T22:20:00.001+08:00

bye guys, i'm shifting.

stuff on for the hols...

2010-03-03T20:16:00.004+08:00

- read

- take pictures

- save for L-CA+

- fly kite

- draw

- stationery re-stock

- swim

- look for black comfortable pumps

- brownies

- orientation camp (+prep)

- chalet!... which reminds me to photoshop indemnity form. WHO NEEDS? Just facebook me.

- run baby run

- buy tickets for copeland's *FUCKIN IMPORTANT*

- silkscreening

- St vincent

- Go! team

- intern

... that's it for now, friends. Enjoy the break!

Think I'm too blessed.

2010-02-21T16:46:00.007+08:00

How do you paint Destruction?

No, seriously. How do you paint destruction

I'm right in the middle of sketching my DS assignment. And I'm stuck.

How exactly do I paint destruction?

Like this?

this?

or this?

No, seriously. I'm not trying to sound all cliche. But... seriously. How?

(Haiti)

( a while later)

fffound it!

I found Destruction. ... for my assignment.

Link here:

http://butdoesitfloat.com/50329/One-way-or-the-other

Starting from the 8th photograph onwards.

I will paint an expression of that.

It's beautiful.

(even later)

So this is it.

This is my test.

But seriously... Destruction to me is this.

How can I paint destruction when I've never been through (that kind of) destruction.

Warped. I'll just do an expression.

(hardcore bloggin today, only because I've stayed home all day, and I've not spoken (verbally) more than ...7 sentences to anyone.)

so take it and please don't break it

2010-02-14T01:57:00.006+08:00

Happy Valentine's ya'll.

And have a good cny :)

I'm all hooked up

2010-02-11T18:52:00.001+08:00

Forced to live like it's a curfew
Translation means I love you

"Oh. You genius ^^"

2010-02-08T23:17:00.006+08:00

Oh, you clumsy person. ^.^

kiss with a fist is better than none

2010-02-08T22:57:00.006+08:00

Florence and the machine + the xx was very very good.

Incredible sound. Excellent crowd. Great gig and what a fantastic way to end the night... by... stalking.

But I guess it was all worth while.

Now I can proudly announce that my ticket is autographed! It's a pity that we missed the xx by a split second. If only we didn't made fun of Shermaine running (run, forest, run!!!) and if only we ran along with her, we could have made it. (Sorry Sherm!)

But overall, the night was amazing.

Especially the part where she took the polaroid off my hands to snap a picture of the crowd.

That part was... legend-wait for it-dary!

Thank you, Florence and the machines and the XX such a extraordinary night!

I rove you

2010-02-03T00:24:00.006+08:00

Ohwillyoujustshutup

2010-01-31T11:35:00.005+08:00

Solaris 400.

Smena 8m. Test shots.

Other than the failed attempt in trying to do a multiple exposure portrait, I guess I'm pretty satisfied for my first roll for Smena.

Better pictures for the next few rolls, I promise. And I better remember to close that Window. Grrrr.

Oh damn... they're right...

2010-01-31T11:11:00.002+08:00

For Renee

2010-01-27T17:46:00.005+08:00

Updating... cause you asked me to!

Vanishing Point from Bonsajo on Vimeo.

Watch (and listen) to this clip! Dope shit.

So this is what's left to do before the sem break:

VDS CA3 - 'safe sex" campaign
DS CA3 - haiti relief campaign
DCC - storyboard and blog
XDM - 'concept shop' blog
HTI - journal enteries (this is dooooommm)
CRS - Final presentation for CA
IA - Research results in Flash

This is quite retarded.

Oh well, on a lighter note, Florence and the machine/ the xx is on next Sunday!
I cannot wait. Need to get that autograph.

and also,

studio photography next Wednesday!

Right...
I think I'm going for a walk now around my neighborhood. Taking my Smena 8m with me. The weather's lovely for pictures.

See ya around.

2010-01-27T17:45:00.001+08:00

Be in control

2010-01-17T14:50:00.006+08:00

I love those cliche hair swaying shots. Man, I need my long hair.

Oh, talk about those hair swaying shots... Here's one last one for all of you.

Oh, Cynthia.
x

don't bother

2010-01-12T19:56:00.003+08:00

One more time i hear "The Surfing Song", I will fucking kill someone.

Woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.

I need you to be closer.

(bottoms up!) to friendship!

2010-01-01T19:54:00.002+08:00

Here's to my fellow DCMD mates (namely Sya, Zakk, Cyn, Qom.)

See you guys on monday :) You guys make school awesome.

2009 was shit... but

2010-01-01T17:03:00.004+08:00

2010 will be better. I know it.

I don't think I'll make a list of new year resolutions (i never follow them anyway), but i kinda know how i want my 2010 to be like...

Also, must. not. be. late. for. school anymore!

Time to work hard (and play hard).

Thank you all for being part of my life.

God bless. Have a good new year!

Ouh.

2009-12-29T01:09:00.002+08:00

Honey, the party, it went away quickly
But oh that's the trouble with ticking and talking.
I lick the ice cubes from your empty glass.
Oh, we've stayed much too late till they're cleaning the ashtrays

Do you have change or a button or cash?
Oh, my pockets hang out like two surrender flags.
Oh, but I'd pay anything to keep my conscience clean.
I'm keeping my eyes on the exit sign steady now.

so this is what it really means...

2009-12-26T02:53:00.002+08:00

Back to where we started.

Losing who we were.

Everybody knows that you break your neck to keep your chin up.

How it's been so far...

2009-12-23T15:47:00.004+08:00

3.50pm. Alone at home. Water painting in my room. La Vie En Rose is playin, on loop. It's beautiful. I finally got an idea for my VDS assignment. Lots of illustration to do. I have to start now.

2 more days to Christmas. Christmas came a little soon this year. Looks like I have to resort to using Illustrator to make last minute Christmas cards for everyone. I'm sorry guys, I'll get you guys your christmas presents later. Tight budget. Too many bands coming for 2010. Too many things I want... I need. But I promise you guys, it'll be good. Patience pays. That's what I've learnt. By the hard way.

I already have in mind what my new newyear resolutions will be like. 2010 will be good year. I hope. Turning 18 in a couple of months. I cannot wait. So many things to look forward to.

Merry Christmas, Baby.

You sure did treat me right.

Love for all! Ciao.

make you (me) smile

2009-12-22T01:03:00.004+08:00

skate camp times/june 09

i'll be so good to you...

2009-12-19T00:49:00.002+08:00

Looking forward to catch her live at The Esplanade! March 15. 2010.

Again.

2009-12-15T00:24:00.001+08:00

I am in love.

I WILL

2009-12-11T16:40:00.005+08:00

Hi. School is out for me. TODAY IS FRIDAY! The holidays are here and I promise, I will have good fun and have a good christmas. I will go to church on Christmas and I will make new Newyear resolutions. I will also need to stop being late for school. I will start saving money for my travel fund. I will try for a GPA of 3.5 and above and I will not cut my hair. I will run and I will get my diana F+, and I will make nice brownies (winks*). I will watch plenty of films and I will take lots of nice photos. I will do fun things and I will not forget to catch up on all my other assignments as well. And... I will also need to dye my hair. I think. Ha. ha. ha.

I will get a life. Bye.

Oh...

2009-12-07T23:26:00.000+08:00

need to stop being late for school... seriously.

Distraction

2009-11-30T11:38:00.000+08:00

Cherry

2009-11-28T15:16:00.000+08:00

2009-11-28T14:39:00.002+08:00

I don't wanna force myself to church on Saturday evenings if my heart's not there.
If God is everywhere, then my church is all around, everywhere I go.

surrealism

2009-11-22T21:42:00.004+08:00

Marcel Duchamp by Man Ray. Rebel man.

"you're full of. shit."

2009-11-22T01:12:00.003+08:00

Hey Izzy!

2009-11-20T11:40:00.007+08:00

Cheer up! ^^
There's so much more to look forward in life.
Don't let all those things that happened get to you.

xoxo

Target:

2009-11-16T22:20:00.004+08:00

I will quit smoking after this last pack of ciggz. And I will save up for my camera.

(i try.)

eyes lose their fire

2009-11-07T00:44:00.004+08:00

"no, you don't have to hate."

2009-11-01T22:00:00.006+08:00

boy: but i wanna see u. :(
girl: not for now.

.
.
.

boy: Meet u next week k, I'm not waiting till that age. I'll be scared to lose you.

...

girl: but you've already lost me.

boy: U still have me Sammo <3

wait, they don't love you like i love you

2009-10-31T22:20:00.009+08:00

Hmmm...

2009-10-17T02:36:00.002+08:00

Earlier this year...

"we are stars and so are you."

2009-10-17T02:32:00.003+08:00

Jan 09. Stars @ The Esplanade.

omg this is exactly it...

2009-10-15T21:06:00.007+08:00

exactly like this...

it's my dream to film stuff like this.

no words can never make up for what you do

2009-10-15T17:03:00.002+08:00

still i'm dying with every step i take... but i don't look back

2009-10-12T12:06:00.002+08:00

Maybe we could make it all right
We could make it better sometime
Maybe we could make it happen baby
We could keep trying
but things will never change

So I don't look back
Still I'm dying with every step I take
But I don't look back
Just a little, little bit better
Good enough to waste some time
Tell me would it make you happy baby

We could keep trying
but things will never change
So I don't look back
Still I'm dying with every step I take
But I don't look back

We could keep trying
but things will never change
So I don't look back
Still I'm dying with every step I take
But I don't look back

And it hurts with every heartbeat
And it hurts with every heartbeat
And it hurts with every heartbeat
It hurts with every heartbeat

notetoself

2009-10-11T00:56:00.002+08:00

NY

2009-10-09T12:54:00.001+08:00

Thanks Shane for the vid link.
This song cheers me up! I wanna go to NY!

the world may never know

2009-10-08T21:15:00.005+08:00

Jillian, Janice, Me and Suelynn. When I was sec3.

Whoa.
It's been so long since i felt that way.
To be genuinely happy.
No worries. No fears. No tears.

Fail with consequence.
Lose with eloquence...

and smile.

Can't wait for everything to be OK again. :)

back then

2009-10-04T21:01:00.000+08:00

i know this is pretty lame... but i did it a long time ago!

here it goes again

2009-10-04T00:34:00.000+08:00

Sick of loving. Sick of hating. So tired of being tired. So exhausted from thinking.

tomorrow, i leave for HK

2009-09-28T23:07:00.001+08:00

... and the week after to M'sia. How exciting!
Crashing Zakk's place the week after M'sia.
Plans plans plans.
Jess is back! And i finally met up with Hx.
Great friends, great company, everything is great.
My appetite is back and I've not felt this good for many weeks.
Thanks Renee, Izzy, Wx, Jess for being here for me and going through hell with me. Love you all to death.

:)

stronger than yours

2009-09-28T23:00:00.000+08:00

I'm not your backbone anymore.

Grow your fucking own.

ftb = for the better

2009-09-28T00:45:00.000+08:00

cause i would give anything

2009-09-25T21:08:00.000+08:00

hands down
i'm too proud for love
but with eyes shut
it's you i'm thinking of
but how we move from A to B?
it can't be up to me
'cause you don't know
eye to eye
thigh to thigh
i let go

i think i'm..

a little bit, a little bit
a little bit in love with you
but only if you're
a little but, a little bit, a little bit
in lo-lo-lo-lo-love with me
oh

ooo-ooo...

and for you i keep my legs apart
and forget about my tainted heart
and i will never ever be the first
to say it
but still I,
yes you know I..I..I..
i would do it,
push a button
pull a trigger,
climb a mountain
jump off a cliff,
'cause you know baby
i love you love you a little bit
i would do it, i would say it
i would mean it, we could do it
it was you and i and if only i..

i think i'm
a little bit, a little bit
a little bit in love with you
but only if you're
a little but, a little bit, little bit
in lo-lo-lo-lo-love with me

Ink (jpeg heavy)

2009-09-22T22:59:00.000+08:00

can't wait for next year...

Hi

2009-09-21T02:02:00.000+08:00

It's 2.03am.
I love to stare out of my open window at this time.
I've been doing it since the first time our muscles tore us apart.
Not much of a scene... but I love the quiet.
And I love the darkness.

I am thinking about things.

I'm getting better at this.
And I will get even better.
Slowly detaching myself from you.

I'll talk to you, restore your number, add you back on facebook
or maybe... go to one of your shows when I'm ready.
When I'm ready to treat you as a friend...
and as a friend only...

and that is if you're willing.

take you on a cruise

2009-09-18T15:03:00.000+08:00

The Escher Experience : Labyrinth.

I still think of you. Everyday.

letting go ...

2009-09-18T01:22:00.000+08:00

acceptance.

at 2.57pm, this was what was on my mind...

2009-09-10T22:08:00.000+08:00

Love forgives.
If you don't know how to forgive, you don't know how to love.

Sam, if you can't forgive, you can't love.

Above The Flood

2009-09-08T16:55:00.000+08:00

Listen. This is exactly how I feel now. Happy sad. Can't stop listening to it ever since I first heard it on jess's blog.

xo

this is only a phase ( i bet)

2009-09-08T16:43:00.000+08:00

i've been crying to almost anything/everything.
small little things.
like when an ant die. wait, thats not even a "small" thing.
an ant... died.
something died.
someone died.
something that has breath stopped breathing.
heart stops beating.
an ant have a heart too... i realised.
how small will their hearts be?
i wonder...

am i the same person as i used to be?

are you?

i'm scared.

i've never ever felt this way before.
this... this is something new.
and I don't like how it feels.
i don't really know what i'm looking for.
i also don't know exactly what i want...

but,
i want ~~you~~ us.

what now?

2009-09-05T01:37:00.000+08:00

D.I.D people, I'm gonna miss you all so much..

2009-08-28T22:58:00.000+08:00

Today marks the end of our common foundation for the freshies in SD.
Rina, Rye, Bal, Iz, Wyan, Zac ... I'm gonna miss you guys so much.
Best bunch to ever hangout with.
Omg, I really love you guys so much.

And Wyan! So sweet of you! Love you to the maxcore.

From Wyan's blog:

"Okay, so today was the last day of common foundation. So sad. So, next term there wont be sam anymore! GAHH. So i am going to like post about herrrrr. Thanks for the wonderful times we had! Like from the sports club camp till now, it's not that long but it really did seem like ive known you for ages. Well, all the best in your very on abstract worldd. (: Thanksssssss."

Wyan. . says (10:57 PM):
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
I CRY SIA WHEN I MAKING IT
the image

omg. I feel so sad.
No more 1 min walk to hotshot cafe.
No more teh buddies.
No more "fuck you cb knnbccb!"
No more karaoke sessions together.
No more.. no more... NO MOREEeEEeEee.

OMG you guys are like the best best best best ever.
I <3 you guys.
CALL ME ME FOR LUNCH, OK!? then i'll run all the way from t14 to t5 and we can have nasilemak together at fc1. Sigh...

I'm going to miss you all.
Thanks for everything guys.
Love you all forever.

P.s; I really hope you'll be ok, jess... <3

im sorry.

2009-08-26T22:50:00.001+08:00

i'll try.

ow

2009-08-25T00:13:00.000+08:00

i think i need to stop smoking and eating too much of all that junk
my throat really hurts and my tounge's really sore.
brown teeth, black gum. (zakk! join me!)

one last assignment then it'll be 6weeks of freeedum!

whooooa

2009-08-22T15:51:00.000+08:00

Music Painting by JUL & MAT from JUL & MAT on Vimeo.

ex

2009-08-22T02:13:00.000+08:00

" just have no idea what ur doing
trust me
i really really wanted to spend the night just lying next to u
then wake up before u do
then just watch u "

i really really really want to cry now.

so... what the fuck is being?

2009-08-22T00:02:00.000+08:00

i wantttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt that pair of sneakers and those rings...

pictures uploaded do not belong to me
taken off several websites ffffound, circanow, etc

I'll follow you into the dark

2009-08-15T10:32:00.000+08:00

I don't mind going any where...

I don't mind going to Hell...

as long as You are there.

wx made my wednesday

2009-08-08T01:24:00.001+08:00

lissy trullie

2009-08-06T22:51:00.000+08:00

I want hair like that...

omg this is superb

2009-08-03T21:11:00.001+08:00

stupid shit

2009-08-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

i don't know.

i can't always go on like this. something needs to happen. i need to make that something happen.
i keep telling myself tomorrow... but tomorrow.. never comes.

you know that feeling?

i feel like taking a huge rock and smashing it on the ground. over and over again till the hard rock breaks.

im not really good with words but this is exactly how i feel.

i want to hit someone on the head so hard till his skull cracks.

something like that.

i want a haircut.

little things

2009-07-30T00:24:00.000+08:00

Sony Bravia from Laurent MAKOWSKI on Vimeo.

This is such a beautiful video. And i love the song.

Buried beneath assignments and projects. Need ta... breathe.

p.s: kim's coming back from the States this Saturday! Can't wait to play with the rolls of film that i just bought! Jess, when are you coming over again to visit me? <3

i love you in the morning, when you're still hungover

2009-07-22T02:10:00.000+08:00

last weekend

2009-07-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

dad's birthday
skate
it is out!!
12am dinner - very very bad instant noodles and burnt eggs
3am swimming
5am macdonalds breakfast
6am fall asleep ~~in your arms~~
start then stop. then start again and now, stopping
bloody silkscreen assignment - i could've almost murdered someone
sheesha nights
green lighter incident
irritating hectic schedule restarts
haircut

need to update my typography scrapbook! and also, drawing class's!

love for all, ta!

Nirvana

2009-07-06T19:12:00.000+08:00

So many things on my mind. Can't seem to string them together into sentences.

The past few episodes which happened within the past 2 days really caused me to attain a certain level of Nirvana. I've realised so so so much. Enlightenment indeed.

I don't understand why. WHY. Why...
Just to make things clear before I start my rant. This post is not directed to anyone. NOT ANYONE AT ALL. These are just my thoughts. Thoughts from my perspective and how I feel about certain things. If I've offended anybody, I'm sorry.

Ok, start.

WHY. Why!! Why is it that I can't confront him?! He was saying things behind my back! Things that weren't true. I mean, me? Jealous? Or is it another way round? Do people even know what we were arguing about in the first place? The is MY problem. It's OUR issue. How come I can't confront him? I do have my pride and dignity. I understand the whole issue about Trust but this... This is too much. I know, I'm pretty jerk-resistant, but THIS. THIS is as far as I can tolerate. I'm really glad that my friend yelled at him on the phone and told him off. I won't deny, the feeling I had was awesome. IT WAS AWESOMEEEE. It was Victorious. Sometimes I really don't understand how people can claim that they love someone but yet at the same time, behind
their backs, plot vicious schemes against them. How is that even possible?!!!! Are YOU even human? Our relation/friendship was already hitting rock bottom and yet... YOU STILL... you still... you still come and fuck with my heart. It's seriously okay if you don't remember what we had or what we did or what happend but WHY. WHY must you say such things?! Why must you insult me there, right in my face. Why do I even bother to argue with you?!I should've let it go when the topic was raised. I should've just fuck it and let it go. I should've... I should've...

Besides this whole fucken boy-girl issue, there's still a friend... that I've been talking to a lot. And he made me realised that... I am not alone. We're all in this shit together and we're going to get over it together. And talking to him made me realised that, Damn... there's someone out there WORST OFF THAN ME. And my heart just shattered after reviewing his series of episodes. How can anybody who is so nice and sweet have such a broken soul? This is not fair. He deserves so much more. We all deserve so much more. Life isn't fair. But what really really really amazes me is his heart. He's has such a great heart. He perserves. And wow, that is amazing. And re-realised that IT IS OK TO CRY. Boy or girl, if you're sad, fuck it - fuck ego. Fuck pride - just cry your heart out and feel better.

Last but not least, the whole Korea thing. I'm ok if my parents do not let me go to Korea. I'm fine. After hearing what Rina said, I realised I'm such a lucky kid. "I know why your dad doesn't allow you to go korea, it's because he loves you. He doesn't want you out of his sight. But it's good... It's good what? So you won't be rotten, like me." And no, Rina (are you reading this?), you are NOT rotten. NOT rotten. You have such a beautiul heart. I've never NEVER NEVER never ever met anybody who is as giving as you. You are by far, the kindest soul I've ever met. And here in samantha's wonderland, I crown you Queen Kind. You are beautiful, NOT ( and I repeat again... NOT) rotten.

Sigh, still so many stuff on my mind. But I think I'll just stop here.
And Wow, this is by far, the WORDIEST post I've ever had in my blog.

Thank you for reading and Good night.

Dad?

2009-07-04T23:51:00.000+08:00

Hey Dad, I know you love me... but sometimes, you gotta let me go.

Can't you see? The more you try to hold me down, the more I resist and rebel.

... Just let me go, really.

typotypotypotypo

2009-07-02T20:10:00.000+08:00

Lost

2009-06-28T17:47:00.000+08:00

Used to be one
of the rotten ones
and I liked you for that.

Now you're all gone,
got your make-up on,
and you're
not coming back.

park that car
drop that phone
sleep on the floor
dream about me

Hi

2009-06-28T02:14:00.000+08:00

I miss you all.

2009-06-22T18:46:00.000+08:00

Bigger than my body

2009-06-17T02:14:00.000+08:00

Am I getting bigger or is the world getting smaller and smaller? It is really indeed, a small small world.

Oh shit

2009-06-16T01:39:00.000+08:00

Argh fuck it. Why why why must you come and stir my feelings up. WHY. WHY. WHY. I AM SO GOING TO STAY FAR AWAY FROM YOU.

Just Dance

2009-06-15T00:31:00.000+08:00

I love long bus rides during night time while listening to music by Phoenix. Yes, thank you, Shermaine for introducing me to their music. I like them very much. Try Bell X1. They're awesome. Like Bon Iver awesome.

Anyways... I caught Lady Gaga live!!

... And she was quite amazing, actually. I used to hate Poker Face... but Lady Gaga did a ballad of it and, omg, it was quite mind blowing. She played the piano really well. Very impressive.

Free

2009-06-13T00:25:00.000+08:00

Hi.

Today I realised that it was I. It was me all along. It was me all along who've been wearing pretense around my neck. I'm coated with pretense. I'm dressed in pretense. Every single inch of me is rubbed with pretense.

And with that knowledge, I am free...

I finally realised that, It is me and not them.

Ah yes, then I remembered, it is not hypocrisy, but obedience... Still I can't help feeling like a hypocrite every time. Maybe... maybe I am not a hypocrite... Maybe I'm just... strange?

Somewhere we went wrong

2009-06-09T20:01:00.000+08:00

Went skating in the morning then spent my entire day watching these:

I'm Not There was.. boring. Not a big Bob Dylan fan. Need to have an X-men marathon. Also wanna catch Run Fatboy Run.

Yay!!! 3 weeks!

2009-06-08T00:45:00.000+08:00

Just some random pix that i like/have been in my com for ages...

Happy term break!!! <3 <3 <3

Things to do for the next 3 weeks:

2009-06-04T21:29:00.000+08:00

1) Lose some weight
2) Draw
3) Photography
4) Lose more weight
5) Sleep
6) Watch a lot of Tv

Coco

2009-05-27T11:48:00.000+08:00

I saw Anna today.

I don't think she recognized me. Or maybe she did? She pretended not to? I don't know.

I wonder how she's doing.

I want my hair (and body) to look like this

2009-05-25T10:58:00.000+08:00

Should i chop my hair off? J.e, are you reading? What do you think? Mail me.

xoxo.

I have a webcam now!

2009-05-24T21:47:00.000+08:00

Omg, webcam whoring all the way. Finally, I got myself a webcam! Excited!

I think I've said this possibly a million times....

2009-05-23T13:28:00.000+08:00

I WANT WHITE WALLS.

crazy crazy crazy crazy

2009-05-16T12:17:00.000+08:00

Whoa. Another crazy crazy week. I can't believe it. 4 weeks since school started. One month! Time files. I've signed up for touch rugby and Skate club and omg both are so fun. (!!!) Parents are out of town. It's raining and I'm having the time of my life.

Payday

2009-05-12T01:14:00.000+08:00

was on Sunday. Finally! I've got some cash to buy myself some new albums. Still buried beneath assignments. Slowly getting used to this hectic lifestyle. This hectic, healthy, nicotine-free, tempting, so-fucking-tempting, lifestyle. Mom actually made me sit down and read an article about teenage smoking this morning. It's actually quite funny. Day 8. Not bad. I am rather impressed with myself. I want... I want... I want... but I can't. It's 1.21am right now and I really wish to be skinny. Like really thin. Thinspiration... can be quite gross. Life now is so mundane. I have so many close/good friends but I really really wish I have a best friend.

Smoke your life away, hon

2009-05-06T22:22:00.000+08:00

So, I got busted. My parents found out. Great. I feel quite terrible. Mom cried. Thank God I wasn't around when she did. But still... The guilt. I made a promise to Dad. And to myself. But it's so hard. Day 3 only and I am kinda struggling. Oh good Lord, please help me and save me from my bloody addiction.

Hey, God...

2009-05-01T00:17:00.000+08:00

I don't know why I am still clinging on... Nothing is happening. Nothing.

Sleep Less Nights

2009-04-30T10:34:00.000+08:00

Coffee doesn't seem to be working on me anymore...

Cyst

2009-04-28T21:55:00.001+08:00

This is retarded. It's only week 2 and I feel so exhausted already. Projects, assignments and homeworks. Man, I hate painting. Gawd. Design is tough. Every single one in Design School is a perfectionist. Imagine... 200++ perfectionists altogether = WAR. THIS IS SPARTTTAAAAAA!!!!

Perfectionist

2009-04-26T23:18:00.000+08:00

per⋅fec⋅tion

[per-fek-shuhn] Show IPA –noun

1.	the state or quality of being or becoming perfect.

2.	the highest degree of proficiency, skill, or excellence, as in some art.

3.	a perfect embodiment or example of something.

4.	a quality, trait, or feature of the highest degree of excellence.

5.	the highest or most nearly perfect degree of a quality or trait.

6. the act or fact of perfecting

I'm not perfect.

I had a bad week

2009-04-26T23:03:00.000+08:00

You

/yu; unstressed yʊ, yə/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [yoo; unstressed yoo, yuh] Show IPA pronoun, possessive your or yours, objective you, plural you; noun, plural yous.
–pronoun
1. the pronoun of the second person singular or plural, used of the person or persons being addressed, in the nominative or objective case: You are the highest bidder. It is you who are to blame. We can't help you. This package came for you. Did she give you the book?
2. one; anyone; people in general: a tiny animal you can't even see.
3. (used in apposition with the subject of a sentence, sometimes repeated for emphasis following the subject): You children pay attention. You rascal, you!
4. Informal. (used in place of the pronoun your before a gerund): There's no sense in you getting upset.
5. Archaic.
a. yourself; yourselves: Get you home. Make you ready.
b. a pl. form of the pronoun ye.

are
1 Show Spelled Pronunciation [ahr; unstressed er] Show IPA –verb pres. indic. pl. and 2nd pers. sing. of BE.

feel⋅ing
Show Spelled Pronunciation [fee-ling] Show IPA
–noun
1. the function or the power of perceiving by touch.
2. physical sensation not connected with sight, hearing, taste, or smell.
3. a particular sensation of this kind: a feeling of warmth; a feeling of pain.
4. the general state of consciousness considered independently of particular sensations, thoughts, etc.
5. a consciousness or vague awareness: a feeling of inferiority.

this
Show Spelled Pronunciation [th is] Show IPA ,pronoun and adjective, plural these Show Spelled Pronunciation [th eez] Show IPA ; adverb –pronoun
1. (used to indicate a person, thing, idea, state, event, time, remark, etc., as present, near, just mentioned or pointed out, supposed to be understood, or by way of emphasis): This is my coat.
2. (used to indicate one of two or more persons, things, etc., referring to the one nearer in place, time, or thought; opposed to that): This is Liza and that is Amy.
3. (used to indicate one of two or more persons, things, etc., implying a contrast or contradistinction; opposed to that): I'd take that instead of this.

way
1 Show Spelled Pronunciation [wey] Show IPA –noun
1. manner, mode, or fashion: a new way of looking at a matter; to reply in a polite way.
2. characteristic or habitual manner: Her way is to work quietly and never complain.
3. a method, plan, or means for attaining a goal: to find a way to reduce costs.
4. a respect or particular: The plan is defective in several ways.
5. a direction or vicinity: Look this way. We're having a drought out our way.

be⋅cause
Show Spelled Pronunciation [bi-kawz, -koz, -kuhz] Show IPA
–conjunction
1. for the reason that; due to the fact that: The boy was absent because he was ill.
—Idiom
2. because of, by reason of; due to: Schools were closed because of heavy snowfall.

of
1 Show Spelled Pronunciation [uhv, ov; unstressed uh v or, especially before consonants, uh] Show IPA –preposition
1. (used to indicate distance or direction from, separation, deprivation, etc.): within a mile of the church; south of Omaha; to be robbed of one's money.
2. (used to indicate derivation, origin, or source): a man of good family; the plays of Shakespeare; a piece of cake.
3. (used to indicate cause, motive, occasion, or reason): to die of hunger.

par⋅a⋅noi⋅a
Show Spelled Pronunciation [par-uh-noi-uh] Show IPA –noun
1. Psychiatry. a mental disorder characterized by systematized delusions and the projection of personal conflicts, which are ascribed to the supposed hostility of others, sometimes progressing to disturbances of consciousness and aggressive acts believed to be performed in self-defense or as a mission.
2. baseless or excessive suspicion of the motives of others.

(thank you, dictionary.com)

Oh shit.

2009-04-19T22:56:00.000+08:00

Today in the car, I asked me Pops what he wanted to be actually.
He said, "A pilot." Then I later learned that he didn't become a pilot because he failed his exam on purpose so that he could meet me mom. Then I asked me Mom. And she said she wanted to start her own business. A brand of her own... I pondered and asked myself the exact same question. Thought for a while and realised... Fuck. "I want to be a doctor."

...

and me Pops just replied me bluntly..."Go marry a doctor."

-_______-

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK

2009-04-18T12:18:00.000+08:00

+ J.E's back for a one week holiday. Yay!!
+ Orientation - made new friends. Rina, Zak, Bal... really funny and fun people
+ I hugged Rachael Yamagata! She played and sung so beautifully
+ According to Sherm's blog, Anberlin's coming for baybeats this year. Stoked!
+ According to a facebook update from a I-don't-know-which-group I've joined, This Town Needs Guns
are coming to SG. Stoked x2!
+ I kbox-ed for the very first time in my life...

... that's about it. Toodles!

Oh Crap...

2009-04-13T23:10:00.001+08:00

I do NOT like the situation I am in now.

Yes, you are tiny

2009-04-12T17:36:00.000+08:00

I will protect you, Heart.
& never will You be ripped and torn apart again.

"I just thought that I should call you..."

2009-04-08T00:12:00.001+08:00

Yah... that was random.